Joe Camel (joecamel) wrote,
Joe Camel

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Welcome back, Milo!

There are some phrases that are simply too powerful to become cliché, despite the fact that they've assaulted our ears through the magic viewing square every time we turn on that infernal box.

Phrases signaling the blossoming of love – “I love you,” “Will you marry me,” and “I do” – carry far too much weight in the real world to lose their impact from hearing them repeatedly on the telly.

Surely, hearing your loved one, or even yourself, speak aloud the words “I’m pregnant” can alter your life in a myriad of wonderful, terrible, and unexpected ways.

Though many of us have grown indifferent to The Donald’s weekly terminations of his MBA’d and heavily résumé’d drama queens, none of us want to hear those ulcer-inducing words from our own boss.

And what could be more heartbreaking in real life than the doctor’s familiar “I’m sorry. We did everything we could.”

This Sunday, I will be joining millions of Americans and liberty-loving people across the globe in what has become something of an obsessive ritual. We shall join together in celebration of the pursuit of justice, high drama, and ass-kickery. And, for the sixth consecutive year, we look forward to that magnificent, awkward phrase symbolizing one man’s drive and determination to protect the innocent in spite of a sea of intrigue, shifting alliances, and bureaucratic nonsense. May that glorious phrase (or some variant thereof) once again ring throughout every home in America:

“Give me provisional status until the end of the day.”
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